saffron risotto with shrimp & pistachios
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want this year to look like — really, what I want my life to look like going forward. I know some people choose a word to define their year and while I did that last year (served with a side of cake, naturally), I felt like it would be too limiting for me for 2015. I just wanted to go into it with intentions: To eat well, to love better, to pray more, to obsess less, the list goes on.
But then the word “legacy” recently popped into my brain one slow afternoon, while my daughter played with nesting bowls on the rug in the center of our living room and I, as I often do, sat on the couch scrolling through photos on my Instagram feed. And it struck me, quite aggressively and surprisingly, actually: Is this the legacy I want to leave for my little girl? Do I want her to remember me as the mother who loved her unconditionally, who showed her the beauty of this world and fed her delicious home-cooked meals and took her on adventures and sometimes even just sat on the floor with her playing with her bowls? Or do I want to be the mother who stared at her phone all day, itching to get back on the computer during naptime to clunk out that blog post, edit those photos, scroll through another feed?
I think the answer is obvious. And yet, it’s what I struggle with on a daily basis — evidently, I am not alone. My friend Liz recently spurred me onto this podcast where the guest, who is a writer and a blogger and a mother, felt very similar. She said once she became a mom, her world was turned upside down — and as such, she didn’t know who she was anymore. In some ways, her world as it had been exploded into a million tiny pieces, and she had to slowly reconnect her identity in the midst of late-night nursing and changing diapers and ironing the wrinkles out of collared shirts and unloading the dishwasher. Sometimes, she said, she felt like her new sense of place and purpose wasn’t enough. She obviously needed to be doing more.
I hover between two states these days: In one, I feel incredibly guilty for not spending more time one-on-one with my child, or even my husband. I stop everything and just soak in the present moment, leaving the blinking screens of my phone and my laptop out of sight. In the other, I feel incredibly guilty that I have put so much of my passion, this blog, on the backburner: that I’m not blogging enough, or Tweeting enough, or posting enough “like”-worthy Instagram photos. I squeeze in precious moments of social media interaction, quickly adjusting the white balance on a photo as my daughter stirs on the monitor after naptime or stack some brownies for a photo while burning the midnight oil. Sometimes I hover between these two states on a daily basis; others, on a minute-by-minute basis. It’s enough to make my mind explode right along with my identity.
But then I come back to that word, that nagging word: Legacy. And I remember two things: One, that we have one very lovely but very short life given to us to live on this earth, and two, that we also are given so much grace by our creator. And I strive to keep the latter in mind as I make the most of the former.
I don’t want my daughter to remember me as a really good blogger; I want her to remember me as her mom who cared, who loved, who played, who laughed, who was present and who fed her really simple, yet really delicious food like a saffron risotto with shrimp, pistachios and cheese. I want her to remember me as her mom who took pride even in the dishwashing and diaper changing, who did what she loved and supported her family through it but also knew when family came first. That’s the kind of legacy I hope to leave behind for her one day.
Of course, this legacy won’t be created overnight, and I’ve still got a lifetime of learning ahead of me to do. But I’m starting in the here and now, with what I do know and what I do want. I’m starting by slowing down, by taking the time to stir risotto (even though this one actually takes about 20 minutes to make, if everything is prepped) in my kitchen, to focus more on the faces of my loved ones and less of that of my phone and computer, to find that delicate balance between who I love and what I love to do that helps me not only find my identity again amid the fractured pieces, but makes me feel pride in the legacy I am creating here on this earth, in this one life full of love, laughter and really delicious risotto.
A quick note about this recipe: I know risotto can seem high-falutin’ or too fickle to some, but we have made this recipe a few times now with all sorts of cause for error (forgot an ingredient, didn’t stir risotto often enough, baby woke up, etc.) and the results still remain sound. It’s creamy, rich and flavorful but not in any overpowering way. We’ve made it for date night and as a weeknight dinner and I feel that it fits both profiles well: It’s fancy but not too fancy, decadent but also nourishing. So save it for an upcoming midweek dinner, for a Valentine’s Day in, or make it tonight. I think you’ll love it no matter what or when.
PrintSaffron Risotto with Shrimp and Pistachios
- Prep Time: 10 mins
- Cook Time: 30 mins
- Total Time: 40 mins
- Yield: 6 servings 1x
Ingredients
- 6 to 8 cups low-sodium chicken broth
- 1/4 teaspoon Spanish saffron threads
- 1/2 cup shelled pistachios
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 medium yellow onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 2 cups Arborio rice
- 1 cup dry white wine
- 1 lb frozen (and thawed) cooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
- 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
- 1/2 cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese
Instructions
- In a medium saucepan over medium heat, heat chicken broth to a low simmer. Reduce heat to low. Transfer 1/2 cup broth to a bowl and stir in saffron threads.
- In a medium skillet over medium-high heat, stir pistachios 2 to 3 minutes until toasted and fragrant. Transfer to a cutting board and coarsely chop.
- Heat a large Dutch oven or saucepan over medium heat. Add olive oil. Once oil is shimmering, add onion and salt and cook 2 to 3 minutes until soft but not browned. Add rice and cook another 3 minutes or so until rice is more milky white than translucent.
- Add wine. Cook, stirring often until rice absorbs most of liquid. Transfer 1 cup of chicken broth to rice mixture in saucepan. Stir often until most of liquid is absorbed. Repeat process until 5 cups of broth have been added. Pour in saffron broth and stir until most of liquid is absorbed. At this point, rice should be tender with a slight bite; if it’s still too crunchy, continue to add broth 1/2 cup at a time and stir until most of liquid is absorbed and rice is tender.
- Stir in shrimp, butter, 1/4 cup chopped pistachios and 1/4 cup grated cheese. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Transfer to serving bowls and sprinkle with remaining chopped pistachios and grated cheese.
This is simply a beautiful piece of writing Stephanie! It such hard work to be a working mother, you should be so proud of your now. You are already legendary!
Such a romantic and creamy seafood one pot dish, LOVE!
Brilliant post, Love the story and love the recipe. Seems perfect for a great night in spending time with those you love.
This is beautiful writing, Stephanie. I love the word “legacy” and completely relate to you with the struggles. I could not love this recipe more, so classy!
Beautiful post, Stephanie. I love that you choose the word “legacy”, because it’s not just all about you. It’s about the people around it. Hugs. Oh and gimme this risotto….
I think this is such a compelling blog post. We all struggle with finding the balance in our lives. I happen to think you do an amazing job and wonder how you keep everything afloat. I think living in the moment is the most important thing I am striving to do this year. Also this dish is so fantastic. I have always wanted to try risotto and still haven’t tackled it.
You are a wise soul my friend! Such a beautiful post and reminder. And this risotto, forget about it.
I love that you’re consciously thinking about the legacy you’re leaving them – and not just the big stuff but those moments that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. We don’t have children yet but I hope it’s something that I think about too.
I loved reading this post, Stephanie. So raw, so hard to write about, and such a real struggle. Finding balance is one of the hardest things in life, but it seems like you’re on your way to creating something even more harmonious. Thank you for sharing, and for spurring me to reflect on what’s important in my life, too. XO
This post was so beautifully written, I just had to comment! It is a constant struggle for most to find balance and live in the moment. It’s will be all the little things that will stand out the most through the years. Those are the memories that last! This risotto sounds wonderful and so fitting for such a thought provoking post!
The fact that you’re conscious of your daily interactions with your daughter tells me you’re definitely creating an incredible legacy that she, in turn, will pass on to her kids. This was such a nice post to read! Relationships are what matter in life, not social media, and not how many pageviews that one post got. You’re an awesome mother! Cheers to creating a valuable legacy!
Stephanie, thank you for reminding me how much I love risotto! Haven’t made it in quite a while and I love the idea of adding nuts to it! Your post is so thoughtful and eloquent. You are facing the challenges that most of us moms do. Just remember, take it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), and you can only do your best at that time. If you feel you have made a mistake in any way (as we all do!), learn from it!
I have worked just about all my life. I raised two great kids who both turned out to be wonderful, productive and caring human beings. I had lots of guilt about having to work, but it all worked out. And, part of my legacy to them is baking with them and the grandkids!
I just love this post! resonates very much with me and I’ll email you 🙂 For now, this is just fancy pants! I want to wow myself with it!
Ah I could not have said it better… I so echo your thoughts in this post! I’m in a constant back and forth of wanting to just be with L 24/7 vs. focus on growing the blog, etc. Thank you for an extra reminder of what should come first.
Beautiful post, Stephanie! You are well on your way to a beautiful legacy :). I *love* saffron risotto, this is calling my name!
I love that you used pistachios. I only use them for snacking. Time to use them for cooking!
My goodness, Stephanie! If I hadn’t thought you were a beautiful writer before reading this post, it would have changed my mind. What deep and emotional thoughts you’ve penned so eloquently and with such passion. It truly shows how much you love and care for your family and especially for your daughter. She’ll grow up knowing she’s loved for certain. I wouldn’t worry about that. 🙂 Gorgeous photos and recipe as usual!
This totally tugged at my heart strings, and I’m not even a Mom yet! I can’t imagine how hard the struggle is between Mom and working girl, but from the outside, it seems like you’re doing pretty great. 🙂
Love this risotto, I just made one today, and there’s really nothing like it. Comfort food at its finest.
i definitely understand how you feel. As a mother and a woman, you always feel like you can do more and do better. My daughter is turning four in a couple of months and I know she notices more when I am busy with the blog. It hurts when she asks me to play, but I have to keep working. But if I don’t work, then I can’t support her, so it has to be done. Our kids will always know we love them and they will remember and cherish the times we are with them. It’s always a work in progress, this being in balance. Learning who you are as a mom and an individual.
This risotto looks amazing. I need to try it soon.
I would love such risotto! Shrimp and pistachios sounds so interesting!
Aww i love this post and I am 100% certain that your daughter will always think of you as a great mom. The BEST, in fact.
Great post. This looks delicious!! xx
Your little peanut is going to remember you a million different ways, but more than anything she will remember being oh so loved. This post is such a sweet testament to your intentions for 2015 and your overwhelming love for you sweet little one. Also, pistachios are a current obsession, and risotto is always a winner.
What a beautiful goal! This dish looks amazing!
Oh girl!!! What an honest look at a new mom and blogger’s life. I totally relate to everything you are preaching. It is so hard especially when our job is seriously right at our fingertips. I don’t think it gets easier to balance, but I think it is important to be conscious of our efforts to stay connected and present to our babes and husbands. Love risotto! Perfect Valentine’s Day meal!
This risotto sounds so fragrant and flavorful!
What a nice piece to read today! Thank you for reminding me about the little things that matter most!
Such a beautiful post, Steph! I struggle with this everyday and thank you so much for reminding us what’s important. I love that you chose the word “legacy” – it’s perfect just like this risotto!
I absolutely love saffron and I adore risotto! Lovely flavor combo and I love the pictures 🙂
Stephanie that is such a candid post, thanks for sharing. I don’t have kids but I know how much hard work a blog can be so have a little one on top of that must be hard work. On the plus side this risotto looks AMAZING! X
I suddenly missed my son again today as he is living with my parents in the province while I am working here in the city. We get to only see each other twice or thrice a year. But whenever we do, I make sure I leave this same “legacy” in heart. I make sure I prepare for him a good hearty meal everyday and that he will remember me as a good mom who cares and loves him with all her soul!
I love this post. Thank you for sharing this recipe, too!
What a beautiful post. I seriously have had very similar thoughts running through my head today…after I got home from work and the 3 short hours I get with my one year old, and what am I doing? Scrolling through Instagram. It’s hard not to compare myself to other bloggers and what they are doing on social media (which is totally crazy if you ask me!!) Love this post, and love this dish. Looks delicious!
Stephanie, how is it that you are the mother of a baby, yet already have so much knowledge?! you have it right. . legacy. . life is short and you already know the way you want your daughter to know you. . My girls are 4 and 7 and I’ll admit it, there are days when I have a deadline and I play with them for like a second when they get home from school and then go back to my computer. I think it’s harder because I work from home so it’s harder to separate work from home life but each day is a new day filled with grace and constant prayerful requests to do it better. To pause more, play more and just be with them. Anyway, I think it’s great that we love what we do and our kids see that passion too. . and above all things, we just love our children and try our best with everything else! TGIF! Thank you for this beautifully written post! I loved reading this today!
Alice — Thank you so much for your comment this morning! It’s a comfort to know there are other moms out there who are doing the best they can, too — and your littles know you love them no matter what. 🙂 Happy weekend, friend!
I rarely comment but this was really beautiful. I’m not even a mom yet (got a ways to go there..) and I still feel this way. Will definitely be pondering what I want my legacy to be while stirring risotto tonight!
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Emma — Thank you so much! xoxo
I love this post. This is a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about, and about which I’ve had many conversations with my husband, as we get ready for baby girl’s arrival next month. I think that figuring out the balance that works for our family is going to be an ongoing conversation and an ever-evolving situation for quite awhile!
Oh Stephanie this is just beautiful! Sometimes I even have those nagging feelings of guilt from not paying enough attention to the people around me. From the way you talk about A and the fact you are making a conscious effort to be really present in her life…I don’t think you need to worry about that legacy. You are doing just fine 🙂 xo
<3 Steph, I am so, so appreciative of the honesty of this post. Though I don't have kids yet (and I don't know how you blog AND are a mom), I even catch myself with my eyes glued to a screen in moments I should be soaking in time w/ Ben and with friends too. Though I know it's going to be a continual balancing act for you (and I WISH I had the answers), I also know that you are a beautiful, wonderful person who is going to leave a fantastic legacy for her daughter <3
Also, apparently I really love you, b/c I just realized that was a double heart comment, lol xoxo
This is a very inspiring story, I feel you, I am a newbie blogger and it is harder for me to balance being one and being a mother. As a newbie blogger, I need double efforts to build my name in the blog industry and in exchange I have loses time for my kids and my husband. I even choose to take them in some Chinese restaurant here in hk, than prepare foods by myself. It is so ironic that I can give the readers the recipes that they needed but I cannot present it for my OWN family. Thanks for this article, this is really an eye-opener. you are really a legacy =)