three months of motherhood {a baby update}
As of this weekend, I will have been a mother for three whole months – well, unless you count me carrying around a fetus when motherhood consisted of making sure I took my prenatal vitamins and didn’t eat sushi, in which case I’m coming up on a year. Either way, I’m pretty sure I literally blinked and my daughter went from “newborn” to “baby.” *Cher voice* If I could turn back tiiiiime…
I feel like I haven’t said much about this new chapter in my life since it happened so, because we’re pals, I figured I’d bring you up to speed so you have an idea of what’s been going on behind the scenes of the good ol’ GVD.
Oh, you thought it was all ice cream and slow cooker meatballs and lovely loveliness? HA. I mean yes, those things have happened, along with cuddles and smiles and laughs and feelings of so much love my heart could burst. Truly, I enjoy being a mom more than anything and I always knew this was the role I was meant to have in this world. BUT. There also have been breakdowns and blowouts and fightin’ words and eating of feelings and wonderings of, “Why the heck is she crying?” And wonderings of, “Why the heck am I crying?” and fears that maybe I’m the worst mother in the world and stressy stressiness. Still, I wouldn’t trade a single second of it.
I’m not going to lie, you guys – the first two and a half months of Avery’s little life were ROUGH. I don’t know if she was colicky or if it’s just the plague of being a newborn in a very big, big world, but she decided to enter it with a lot of fussiness and crying for what seemed like no good reason.
I felt like I couldn’t leave the house for fear of embarrassment – like how she’d scream in her stroller all the way up and down the block and I felt like people were staring at me through their windows wondering why I was letting my kid cry so much (truth: No one did that. But I’m the most paranoid). Or that one time I drove to Target alone with her for the first time and she woke up in her car seat as I entered the store and proceeded to freak out in the card aisle, so much so that I had to leave immediately, get back in the car and drive around for a half-hour before she passed out again so I could re-enter Target and buy my things (we made it to checkout before she woke up and started wailing again). Or how 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. went from “Elliott and Stephanie’s time to watch Netflix and eat snacks” hour to “Avery’s time to lose her ish” hour – except for three. Whole. Hours.
I was tired. I was (very selfishly) missing my old life of Netflix watching and snack eating and being able to go grocery shopping and to Target without any obligation. My husband and I were struggling to figure out how to be married and be parents at the same time. I was struggling with balancing my work with taking care of a baby. And I was feeling incredibly guilty about all of it, because being a mom was something I’d wanted for years, something I’d prayed for and had to wait for a little while longer than I’d hoped, something I thought would fulfill me in a way no other role could and make me the happiest clam of all the clams.
Then, a few weeks ago, something clicked. Avery started cooling off – as in, she wasn’t just eating, crying, pooping and sleeping but there was actual calm time between there. In fact, she’d even include a few smiles and laughs (which are more like coughs right now and I DIE any time she does it). I started being able to go for walks or to Target without shame or embarrassment – either because she’d cry less, or maybe because I was feeling more confident and OK with the fact that hey, she’s a baby and she cries sometimes. I even started nursing in public (and by “public,” I mean with a cover in the women’s lounge of Nordstrom but STILL).
Now, three months into this journey, things are definitely easier. I’m learning how to bake and cook with a baby attached to me (either in my Boba Wrap or the ERGObaby 360 carrier, both of which I highly recommend). I still struggle with the balance of my work with baby (mayhaps a story I’ll share in greater detail another day), but I’m learning to be OK with having to work less so I can be present for my child. In fact, Netflix seems so much more boring now than sitting on the floor playing peekaboo with my baby and seeing that million-watt smile appear on her face, or seeing her stare at her feet wondering how she can grab at them because they are just so interesting. Even when she does get fussy, I remind myself that the moment is only temporary and that rocking her and holding her until she falls asleep is something I should cherish because pretty soon I’ll blink again and she won’t want to be held anymore. I’m starting to feel normal again and more trustworthy of myself and my instincts as a mother. And Avery is starting to be OK with this big, big world she now lives in.
Overall, while life may look very different now than it did before 4:15 a.m. May 9, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so blessed and thankful to be this sweet little girl’s mama – a role that is harder than anything I’ve ever done, but one that I love more than any other I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to see what the next three months will bring.
There are soooo many other things I could say about these last few months but I’ll stop there so you can, you know, get on with your day. Plus I need to go snuggle with my little peanut because seriously, this cuteness is unreal.
If you’re a mom (or dad!), I’d love to know what your experience was like in your first few months of parenthood. Or, if you have any questions at all about my experiences – with birth, breastfeeding, blowouts (OH DO I HAVE STORIES), baby gear, anything and everything – shoot me a message or e-mail and I’d love to chat with you about it!
Thanks for letting me share a bit about my life in mama-land today. Next week includes yummy things of the sweet and salty variety, so yo’ face best get ready.
P.S. My eCookbook is still 40% off through the end of this week! Just enter SUMMER40 at checkout and you’re golden.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.
I could read about Avery and stare at pictures of her all day long! And I love you so much for sharing the truth about those first few months instead of sugar coating it. If more women did that, then we would all have many more realistic expectations!
She is so beautiful! I love her in that striped onesie with the ladybug.
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your experience with cute little Averie. I’m definitely a bit anxious (though also very excited) about how life will change when we have the baby… I feel like I have NO idea what to expect. I have a feeling that mid-meltdown I’ll be thankful to know that it happens to pretty much every new mom. So glad to know she is starting to calm down more for you and you are getting more comfortable. I’m sure a month from now things will be even smoother and more fun for you!
Ah sorry, Avery!!
Joanne — Thanks, girl! xoxo
I’m so glad you shared your experience! So many first time moms (me included) feel guilty to admit it’s hard or there are things and times we miss about our lives before we had children, especially if you had to wait longer or had trouble having a baby (me included) :-). My baby is 20 months and I cannot believe how quickly it has gone by. Soak it in but it’s also ok to want a break too, make sure you’re taking care of you as well as your sweet baby girl. She is so precious 🙂 I hope you’ll write more posts like this one.
Sune — Oh, thank you — she has grown out of that outfit now, sadly! 🙁
Lauren — It’ll be the hardest job you’ll ever love, and I know you’ll be great at it! And I’m here if you ever need to vent. 😉
Meagan — Thank you so much. I am slowly learning that it’s OK to take breaks here and there for myself (and my sanity, ha :)). The time certainly does fly by, it’s crazy!
She’s adorable. I’m glad that things are settling down. Ummm…well…ummm…I had a sleeper (still do, actually). Like, I would look at her and want to poke her to wake her up (I know..I’m a crazy lady). My niece was like Avery, and things do get better. And, you are right. You will blink, and she will be graduating. It’s incredible. Just enjoy these times–both good and not as fun. And thanks for the update. Can’t give me too many pictures of that adorable face. 🙂
Avery is such a precious little girl. I can’t believe how much she has grown in three months! Eventhough I don’t have my own children yet, I love reading your recaps and looking at all of the beautiful pics of your baby girl!
I can seriously just read this all day long and watch her adorable pictures. She is just beautiful! Thank you for sharing with us. As I get ready for this next chapter it’s really refreshing to hear the honest truths behind the oooo and Ahhh cuteness! U rock!!
Loved your honest post! Would love to see one on baby gear! I’ll need to think about registering in the next month or two and have seriously NO IDEA what I need. There are no little ones in either mine or my husband’s family, and neither of us have ever even changed a diaper. Soooooo, that’s where we are… clueless 😉 This poor baby!
Wow this was so beautiful. I’m not a mommy yet but I hope to be one day. I’m in the whole taking my time frame of mind but you summed it up perfectly. Life truly changes after having a baby and its good and crazy and exhausting but the picture you painted says that at the end of the day, it is sooo worth it!
The first few months are a rough adjustment. Charlie was super fussy and cried for the first 9 months of his life. It’s nerve wracking and frazzling and love all wrapped in one. But ALL. worth. it. Hang in there, time flies and before you know it Avery will be gone at summer camp for a whole week! Enjoy that adorable little girl! xoxo
There is so much I want to hear and so much I could say of my wonderful experiences, but I have something far more important I need to say. Please do not have a coffee/tea mug nearby the baby.
My brother’s infant grandson was just released from hospital after encountering hot tea. The baby was there for a week.
At 3 months, that little darling will be turning over soon and be pulling over anything that you think is beyond her reach.
You are in for a fascinating ride. Enjoy the journey!
I love your honesty in this post, being a mom is hard!! Well, I guess I cannot really know that since I am not a mom, but I have young siblings and kind of get the idea. Still, you are doing amazing and I loved reading about the little Avery. She is so cute!
You nailed it when you said “it will be the hardest job you’ll ever love”. Just when you get used to their ways they grow up on you and change everything. Being 8 years into this mommy thing there is one thing I can say, they will teach you more than you will ever teach them. Embrace it.
Mommy hood looks great on you. And Avery, my goodness she is such a doll. Enjoy every minute with her. It goes faster and faster every year.
This post is such a heart tugger! Love that little baby, and all of your honest motherly reflections. You rock, mama. xo
Stephanie, this brought back so many memories. My 1st baby starts her senior year of high school next week. Somewhere in this house there is a video of her 1st bath, during which she screamed the entire time! Maybe we should make her watch that before heading off to college next year… Enjoy every precious moment.
Oh dear Steph do I understand.
I understand feeling like I can never leave my apartment because going most places requires the subway and if a meltdown happens there I am literally trapped and mortified. (It actually happened a few weeks ago…he was crying hysterically and so I started crying and every woman on the train came over to help..it was awful.)
Anyway- I have been there. And there are such ups and downs its crazy. As soon as we think we have things figured out- something new happens and I’m back at square one.
Avery is so beautiful, and she is truly lucky to have you for a Mama.
Have you heard of the app The Wonder Weeks? I would download it right away if not- it tells you about baby’s different developmental leaps and how it affects their behavior- it’s really helpful.
Right now at 6 months so much is changing for poor lil Hugo. Teeth, sitting, rolling, crawling, waving, and wanting to see everything but not really being able to get there. Anyway- the only thing that works for us these days is me wearing him around on my hip in the ring sling and he’s happy as a clam.
Love you!
She is a cutie pie. Lots of adjustments for parents to get used too.
Anne — Oh, I never do. That mug is actually iced tea and as tempting as it is to drink coffee (because I love it so) while holding the baby, I am all too aware of the risks. But thank you for caring (and so sad about your brother’s grandson! 🙁 )!
Michelle — Oh, I know the feeling! Avery is the first in our fam, too. 🙂 I would love to do a baby gear post!
Audra — Thank you, friend. I have heard of the Wonder Weeks app but forgot to download it! Off to do so right away. 🙂 Thanks for being an inspiration to me in so many ways!
I just loved this post, friend. You are a strong lady and a wonderful mama! And Avery! I want to reach through my computer screen and squeeze her!
Avery is just too cute! I love these sweet photos 🙂
I really enjoyed reading this post. I often wonder what life will be like when I have children. I love to hear other peoples stores, and am glad that it is all starting to come together for you.
Oh Avery is precious! And yeah, those first couple months are draining but the little smiles, coos, chunky cheeks and legs, big eyes, and cuddles somehow keep ya going. I definitely am grateful to be done with the blowouts and spit-ups though.
Love, love, love reading about your first 3 months as a mama! I can only imagine how challenging of a job it is – caring for another human being – and it sounds like you and Elliot are rockin’ it. Can’t wait to meet your little one some day 🙂
This is precious! The truth about being a new mom. If we were all prepared for this thing called Motherhood, like we are when we pre-measure all our ingredients and pre-heat the oven, we’d make a perfect cake. I mean kid. But we all know life isn’t perfect, and with each new baby a new cookbook must be written — for unlike recipes, no two kids are ever even remotely alike. Here’s to you and Elliot, Stephanie, and the wonderful hike you are on, even if some days the terrain is a bit tipsy even for your super-cool stroller with big wheels to navigate. And, yep, that was a metaphor! 🙂 CONGRATS with hugs and wishes!
Such a sweet, lovely and beautiful post Stephanie! Those days can sometimes feel like they’ll go on forever, all the crying can be really hard! So happy that things are getting better for you both! 🙂
Hey Stephanie. I read your blog but never comment. Today I had to! I had very similar experience to yours with my 1st child. Same crying in the evening – colics, same trying to figure out my new life. It all passes and you adjust. After being a mom for over 8 years I’m still learning how to balance my life-work-kids but it’s easier. It does get better. You are doing amazing and just keep doing what you are doing! I had very many balling my eyes out, feeling suicidal and not a happy wife days LOL. Your baby is darling!!!
That first picture … I’m convinced that there’s nothing more magical in this world than baby giggles. Congratulations again!
The best baby advice I ever got was that the first 6 weeks or so kind of suck and things will get better. There is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture technique and I will never doubt the insane powers of hormones again. But then they smile and cuddle and it is all worth it. But it does get better and you will sleep brought the night again eventually. Now mine are 5 and 8 and it is a whole different adventure.
I so enjoyed learning about your new role and thank you for being so candid. I am not a mother (yet) but I look forward to the day when I am.
Susan — Love the metaphors! 😉 Thanks so much, Susan!
Olena — Thanks so much for the comment! So glad to know I’m not the only one who has been in the depths of despair at times through this journey. 😉 And SO glad to know it gets easier in some ways.
Nope, majority of us go through the same thing. Many just don’t share like you. Honestly, the baby stage is precious, don’t get me wrong, but I was never a huge fan of it. I like to sleep at night, for at least 6 hours straight, be able to brush my teeth and take shower in the morning, not at noon, eat with both hands, not change diapers and have my body back to myself! Nothing wrong with that. Many won’t tell you that but I will. Yes, I found having a baby very hard and life changing, mind blowing many times a day. But babies are awesome just very hard work LOL. But they grow up fast. So, enjoy!
Kristin — TRUTH. And those hormones be crazy. 😉
Sounds like you are doing amazing and are FAR more adjusted than I ever was with my first! I think it was kid #5 before I finally got the hang of things. 🙂
Avery is super cute! My son, he’s my 2nd child and now is almost 26, was super colicky for the 1st 2-3 months. He’d scream from 9 pm til 1 in the morning. It was torture and there was nothing we could do about it (well probably I could have changed my diet since I was breast feeding to help him). It’s makes you feel very guilty and upset that there is nothing you can do. You are doing everything right! Enjoy her!
Linda — Oh goodness, I feel for you. It’s the hardest part, knowing there isn’t anything you can do about it. Good to know they grow up just fine anyway. 🙂
Awww Stephanie, I just love this post. It’s so nice to hear about your Mommy life, outside of the blog! I love that you are totally honest about it not being all butterflies and sprinkles 100% of the time. So refreshing. Avery is just the cutest little girl and you sound so happy!! I’m having MAJOR baby fever at the moment and this post didn’t help any! 🙂 xoxo
Too sweet, thanks for sharing! Glad life is kicking into a new rhythm 🙂
I am so thankful you shared this. I actually think it’s really intimidating when all I see of new moms is rainbows and smiles and perfect cuddly babies. Seems like an awful lot to live up to. It’s so encouraging to hear a story from the trenches–the good, the bad, and the blowout (sorry). I heart your heart.
Hey Stephanie, not sure if I’ve ever commented on your blog before, but this post was exactly what I went through the first 3 months of my son’s life (he’s 10 months now…AHH!). It is SO hard, and for me it was frustrating that so much of the work falls on the mom, no matter how much the dad wants to help. I honestly don’t know how you keep your blog going, it must be incredibly challenging! I have to tell you, though, the first 3 months, they are so precious and snuggly, but it gets WAY more fun when they are older and interactive. You have so much fun to look forward to 🙂
Yes, I do think something clicks at three months. She is just beautiful…as were your honest reflections. Thank you for sharing! You should follow my other blog: cordmama.com. It’s all things birth and babies 😉
Ahh omg, Avery is adorable!! I’m not a mom yet so I can’t attest to any of what you’re saying but you seem like you’ve got a good grasp on it and are figuring it out day by day and that’s awesome! I’m sure it’s definitely rough but it’s also so rewarding at the end of the day when you’re cuddling with her. Keep on chugging, friend! xx
Oh my goodness she is so precious! Loved reading this, keep sharing your journey with us. It’s a beautiful thing. 🙂
Steph – thank you so much for sharing your first three months. We don’t have kids yet, but I know I will look to you for words of wisdom when we get to that point. Although you have moments where you miss your quieter life, it must be so amazing to look at your little one and know that there are so many incredible days ahead of you with your new family!!
Denise — Thanks so much! As much as I love the snuggly little baby stage, I’m excited for what’s ahead, too. 🙂
Monet — Off to check it out now! Thanks 🙂
I love that you shared your experience! My husband and I have been talking about starting a family and I’ve had a lot of those same fears and concerns. Like, how will I survive without my nightly couch and TV time?? Thanks for being so honest. It’s good to know, that, while there will be craziness and crying and yearning for easier days, it does get better and it’s all worth it. 🙂
awww this post! thank you for sharing this with us, stephanie! it’s so honest and it makes me nervous but so so excited for those days! for now, i’ll be here, enjoying snacks and netflix 😛 have a wonderful weekend, lady!!!!
Yeah, our little guy did the nightly screaming thing. We were really afraid of night falling for the first 16 weeks! We’d get a crazed look in our eyes as the sun went down (haha). But now he sleeps really well! (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth has been really helpful.)
Motherhood is definitely full of amazing highs and tender moments, punctuated with really tough parts – and all the hormones still floating around sure don’t help. I loved “All Joy and No Fun – the Paradox of Modern Parenthood” (I think that’s the last part of the name). It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in struggling with parts of mothering, as well as my changing relationship with my husband.
A lot of blogs make both these things seem so easy, and make you wonder what you’re doing wrong. Like they say, don’t compare your hidden day-to-day with someone’s public highlight reel.
Oh, and I’m still convinced the neighbors think I’m a terrible mother every time they hear the baby crying, but I’m working on it!
I love this. It’s such a special time and I love that you shared it with us. Oh god, I don’t even remember- those first few months are really hard!
My son is 20, and I still recall those first few months with a cold pit in my stomach. He didn’t just cry, he SHRIEKED, all the while throwing his arms back, his mouth open wide and screaming like a banshee. It was so unnerving and many days, unable to soothe him, I simply held on and cried right along with him because it was clear he was hurting and I had no idea why. I was basically house-bound for five months before it petered out. Motherhood is hard, and no matter how prepared you are, how much you feel it belongs in your bones like breath itself, it takes you by the shoulders and shakes the hell out of you, ripping apart the old ‘you’ so a new one can be born right alongside your baby. And that ripping and tearing continues for a lifetime, in multiple ways other than dealing with sleeplessness, screaming and blow-outs. You will never be the same again, but in a good, good way. Embrace every moment, the rough ones and those pure as snow. Take time if you can to journal Avery’s moments as she grows and changes because you think you’ll remember, but trust me, you won’t. My journal of my son’s first few years is such a treasure. And hang in there, Mama. Love gets you through it all.
Kate — Thank you so, so much for your comment. It really helps to know that I’m not the only one who feels/has felt that motherhood is almost like a growth spurt for me. I love that every day not only gets easier, but better and more full of love. I will remember your words on those rough days as they come. 🙂
So I’m visiting my folks and reading this post… And I was like what the HE$$??? My mom was a bit startled, when I explained, how I swear you just told us you were pregnant… And she’s already 3 months. Holy cow!! She’s gorgeous! So excited for your journey.
Oh, I love this post so much, and I can’t wait to meet this Little Miss. I applaud your honesty and want you to know that whether you work outside your home, within your home, or are just trying to keep your house from imploding with mess, everyone feels guilt about balancing work and mothering. Or…at least I do. It’s a tough line to walk, but I urge you to work towards being present, as you already have been. Half the battle is taking the time to process it all. You’re doing great.
Aaw, this is such a great post Steph. Avery is absolutely gorgeous and you are doing an amazing job:) Thank you so much for sharing your honesty though. The first 3 months are definitely one of the hardest and happiest. Crying when they cry is definitely normal and something I still go through sometimes even with our second and she’s 5 months now. Motherhood is hard but like you said the most rewarding and you would never trade it for anything else in the world. You are doing amazing especially with keeping the blog going which is something I struggle with. I’m so glad to hear that things have gotten easier, you are rocking motherhood and Avery is the luckiest sweet baby girl to have you for her mama *hugs*
I so loved the honesty in this post! I’m bookmarking this so that I can came back and read it when I am a new mom someday. 🙂
Alyson — Lol! In some ways it feels like it went by that fast to me, too! 🙂
Trisha — Aw, love that! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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I’m not a mama yet, but your sweet and honest words completely resonate with me. Even without kids, the work/life balance can be challenging at times, so the fact that you’re still creating such great blog content while taking care of a little one is inspiring. Glad to hear it’s getting easier! She’s adorable!
as a fellow twin cities mama, i FELT this post. my daughter just turned three months old (http://hooleywithaz.com/amelia-three-months-old), and let me tell you, aside from the early teething symptoms, she was the same way for the first 2.5 months. lots of fussing, not a lot of smiles, and me feeling like i should be doing something (anything) different. didn’t it seem like everyone else was posting photos of their angelic, cherub baby darlings sitting quietly in their strollers or on their laps? i’m pretty sure mine doesn’t know how to do that. but something did click in the last few weeks, and it’s so glorious. reading your 6 month update has given me hope that it gets even better and better.
Erin — It does get so much better! Hang in there, fellow mama. You are doing great. 🙂